For my rewrite, I would like to fix my first paper. It was my lowest grade, and I think presents a great deal of opportunity for improvement. The paper was about mine and my sister’s relationship. The major missing piece in it was more narrative; though my voice was strong, my storyline was a bit abrupt and sporadic. I think that adding more detail about our developing relationship, as well as some specific interactions, would greatly benefit the piece.
Furthermore, I would like to include some more quotes from her and how they affected me. I don’t think that I made clear just how strong an influence she had on me. Our relationship is special to me for the reason that it shows great disparity in what once was, and what has become of it. This disparity needs to be highlighted. Perhaps a good way of going about that would be to develop a more tangible theme- a string of sorts for the story to carry along.
No comments:
Post a Comment